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Vent

Morning all! I normally only post once a week so that I don’t bore you all to death, but I need to vent my first 15 minutes of today to sane people – that’s you!

I wrote this first thing this morning:

Caffeine intake: One coffee, I’ve only been awake a short time.

Someone shoot me! I’ve not long woken up (it’s 8am, my turn for a lie in) and already Edi’s had a massive pooh, Edi and Ben have screamed continuously at each other, Ben’s upset because we’ve taken the iPad away (the cause of the screaming) and Edi is now shouting “I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA…” I hate Frozen. To top it all off, Dan’s just asked me how you make an omelette. For someone so intelligent I have to say I’m quite taken back he’s asked me this, it must be watching the football last night, his brains have been sucked out and stuffed into empty beer bottles.

I’ve told him how to do it and he’s challenged me:

D: “Isn’t that just a fried egg?”
Me: “No”
D: “So it’s scrambled egg?”
Me: “No, you don’t scramble it, it’s an omelette”
D: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “You don’t scramble it”
D: “What, you just chuck it in the pan?”
Me: “Yes”
D: “But that’s a fried egg”
Me, deep breath in: “You beat it in a bowl first…”
D: “I thought you didn’t say that”
Me: “I did!”
D: “Don’t get eggy” he chuckles to himself and then continues precisely “I said, I thought you didn’t say that, I didn’t say you didn’t say that. So I crack it into a bowl first and beat it?”
Me, I finally breathe out but grit my teeth: “Beat it in a bowl first, heat the pan, put a little oil in it, then pour the beaten egg into the pan and let it cook” I can’t be bothered to take him through the Delia method.
D: “That’s an omelette is it?” inside my head I’m screaming hysterically “I thought you put other stuff in it? I used to put milk and stuff in mine”
Me: “Not for Edi” my jaw is clamped
D: “So it is like a fried egg then”
Me: “It’s an egg on its own yes, but it’s beaten. It makes a different texture and flavour.” I think I’m going to cry.
D: “Hmmm.” Oh God, he’s thinking “Interesting isn’t it”
Edi: “Mummeeeeeeeeeee! I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA, I WANT ANNA!”

I have nothing left to say.

Bea x

One thought on “Vent

  1. I’ve had so many conversations like this! However much I love my man and daughter, they both drive me crazy at times!!!! Love a good old vent!!

    Like

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