It’s been two weeks and three days since we lost our potato peeler. It’s one of the most annoying losses I’ve experienced, and I’m stumped as to where it could be or how it was lost in the first place. Who loses a potato peeler? I have aired my frustrations in a very average poem. May the Gods of Reason forgive me.
The Lost Potato Peeler We have lost our dear potato peeler. It’s strange but true, Potato peeler, potato peeler, come home, please do. I had no idea how much I would miss your shaving skill, Until I carved a two-pound potato into the size of a pill. Your mysterious vanish from our haphazard kitchen, Has me puzzling and wondering, where else you may fit in! Where the fuck can you be, handy utensil of mine? Is your disappearance a deliberate two fingered sign?
I’ve searched the dishwasher, the drawers and the back of the fridge, Can you give me a clue? Go on, just a smidge. Please turn up, I think I’m going mad, Your appearance would calm me and make me less sad.
Are you protesting because I’ve bought frozen chips, Already peeled and luscious on the lips? It does save time to bung them straight in the oven The kids whine for less because it’s quicker to cook ‘em. But what about dauphinoise and hot pots and mash? I don’t want to replace you and splash out the cash. It’s quite hard to lose a potato peeler, this is really very poor. You only go from the drawer, to potato, to dishwasher, to drawer
Was I drunk? Angry? Too heavy handed? Did you disappear in a haze when the aliens landed? I’m baffled how I have lost you my dear potato peeler, Did you see more profit in becoming a dealer? I’ve searched the dishwasher, the drawers and the back of the fridge, Can you give me a clue? Go on, just a smidge. Please turn up, I think I’m going mad, Your appearance would calm me and make me less sad.
Your loss is a sign that I’m a disorganised mess, It’s annoying the shit out of me I have to confess. Potato peeler, potato peeler, I’m sorry, I admit it, You are the best thing I need for making a chip.
Potato peeler, potato peeler, come home, please do, Potato peeler, potato peeler, where the fuck are you?